HOW TO HELP WITH HOMESICKNESS.
1. Buy a twelve-pack of Foster's from a corner shop.
2. Drink them all in a jiffy.
3. Spread the cans around your house so everywhere you look, you see empty beer cans.
4. Throw sand on the floor.
5. Turn the heater up. The hotter, the better.
6. Strip down to your boxers.
7. Lie on the couch, drunk, half-naked and sweating and sing 'I am Australian' as loud as you can.
8. Extra tip: play videos about kangaroos on Youtube.
I'm feeling better already!